bucking up

been MIA from my blog for quite some time. was busy, unmotivated and uninspired. worked at in2 was kind of hellish. I couldn’t cope with the uncommitted colleagues, the unhealthy culture of always working till late midnights and weekends (even worked until 1am on my freaking last day), the forever unsatisfied and last minute client and the types of boring events held. personal life was haywired too. all my bills weren’t paid on time and never filed properly, handphone service was terminated due to outstanding payments, room was in a big mess, savings wasn’t bank in for months, even mum was needed to help me with my annually road tax and insurances renewal.

I am a very particular person when it comes to financial planning. I have a logbook to keep my monthly expenditure patterns, I always make sure bills are paid before due date, savings are channel to the other bank every beginning of the month. so when the haywires happened, I got so frustrated at myself, feeling as if I had lost control over my life. I really hated that feeling.

I actually wanted to give up in March but decided to give it a second chance to change team. however things didn’t improve, in fact it got even worse with unreasonable request from my manager. so enough is enough, I did not want to waste anymore time procrastinating there. Resigned with no job offer on hand. the bravest decision I had ever made indeed but am glad I to be out of there.

it’s now 1.5 months being jobless. spent the first 2 weeks ‘cleaning’ up my life. filed the past 5 months bills, updated my savings accounts and fix deposits, running errands for parents and most importantly, a major room makeover. then packed in as much gym and jogging as possible to prepare for the mount Kinabalu hike. it was no doubt a tough hike, never felt so fatigue and miserable in my life before but the fulfillment of reaching the top is unexplainable and irreplaceable. I’m so proud that we did it.

hitting into the 2^nd month of my jobless period, things starting to get a little too boring and meaningless. I feel blank headed with nothing to look forward to. even bodycombat class isn’t that fun anymore when my punches and kicks are powerless because I have no anger and frustration to release.

I need to get back into workforce soonest before I start to feel depress and sluggish. but I am not compromising in the next job that I’m looking for (I mean what I want to do and the work scope, salary is still negotiable :P) although I know the markets are slow and it’s gonna be a different thing for me. well, I have updated my resume and started applying. I shall work on an impressive cover letter to brush up my portfolio.

I will buck up… no worries my mum and friends :)