why can't you be proud of me?

why can’t you be proud that I never requested you to buy me anything?
why can’t you be proud that I obediently entered form6 without questioning you why must I?
why can’t you be proud that I didn’t flung my stpm?
why can’t you be proud that I entered local university?
why can’t you be proud that I settled study loan all by myself?
why can’t you be proud that I bought the pc with my own study loan?
why can’t you be proud that I never requested any extra money except for that rm200 monthly that covers all my expenses (I never even requested for that rm200)?
why can’t you be proud that I worked part time during schooling to earn and buy what I wished to have?
why can’t you be proud that I graduated just as a physics degree holder?
why can’t you be proud that I found my first earning?
why can’t you be proud that I always bring the whole family for luxurious dining on special occasions?
why can’t you be proud that I traveled to different places every year on my own expenses?
why can’t you be proud that I insisted to pay monthly home allowance although my earning is just basically enough?
why can’t you be proud that I insisted to give out more than half of my bonus pay to help out the family financial?
why can’t you be proud that I sponsored a portion of my sister’s uni fee?
why can’t you be proud that I tried to work out a serious relationship with the man I love?
why can’t you be proud that I never thrifty in buying my sisters some basic necessity of their teenage life (clothes, bag, thumbdrives, watch, cd player etc)?
why can’t you be proud that I am always so independent and strong (at least I try to portray that I am)?

although I’m not the smartest, the prettiest, the most successful as you would wish I can be but why can’t you just be proud of whom I am now, who I am today. at least let me feel that you are proud of me for once. you may not mean what you had just blurted out but those words really crush my heart like how a hammer smashed on a mirror. smithereens.

officially an insomniac

disorder + stress + tired + work + tight dateline + moody + stuck + unsatisfactory + issues + (the list is too long for me to continue....) = insomnia

I need therapist!

a portion of my skype conversation with my boss....

[7:12:08 PM] digi_donald says: keep up the good job.. I think you had the technical flare with all these event stuff.. I can groom you more.. :)
[7:12:44 PM] Jamie Lim says: thanx...altho abit stressful but dont mind learning new stuff
[7:15:09 PM] digi_donald says: no worries. no pain no gain.. its out of our comfort zone when we do new things with tight deadlines.. but you doing very fine..

with these words, I'm motivated to work (even at this hour) and make this big event into something to shout about! you notice that smiley face that he sent to me hehe... thanks so much,mr Donald.

s bz s a b

I bet from the title itself you can already judge how hectic am I. I even have to type everything in abbreviation!

plentiful of shits happened these 2 weeks but I don’t have time to blog about it. works are eating my soul away!!! help!!!

shits aside, I am happy coz another trip has been confirmed! supposingly to taiwan but too expensive so turned to macau but I’ll definitely detour hong kong as well to meet my friends. you can refer to my previous blog entry of ‘my travelogue.... (part I)’ for my updated travel schedule for this year.

I guess I won’t be blogging much until that big event is over on the 24th aug (maybe a few short bitching liner). gotta qc all my designer’s drawing now before going out to supplier. pity me, still working full force at this hour (*loud sigh....*). I just can't wait to get suntan again... I’m coming soon, lang tengah...