the magic of Christmas

the Christmas excitement started with a personal invitation from Jim to join his annual Christmas chilling session at his house and topped up with an offer of place to bunk in from Kitty, there’s no reason for me to say no. being the usual ‘thick face’ me, I asked Terry if it’s ok for me to be there just a few days earlier to chill with him. in fact, it was more of an excuse for me to escape from home due to the recent family argument.

stepped into Singapore on Thursday night, it is always a warm welcome from aunty Carrie. the night was very young but I didn’t have appetite for dinner hence I suggested for a drinking session. I guess due to skipping dinner and having too much of drinks, my emotions took over my brain. I just poured everything out about what recently happened in my family to Terry. he practically drove around the whole Singapore just so that I can release myself. and the next thing I knew was I cried until I knocked out.

on an eve of a Christmas Eve, I had to shop around for presents. it was a tiring yet awkward day after what had happened yesterday. but I felt better after saying it out to someone that I think cares for me. a lot of advices was shared with me and it was a bit too much to digest for that day.

on Christmas Eve, I tried to put away the emo side of me and just be jolly. but Terry refused to allow me lying to myself. he drove me around the whole Singapore again (I think) and said something so true that had been hidden inside me all this while. with his words of encouragement, I decided to call home to tell dad and mum my feelings due to the family unpleasant incident. being raised up in a typical Chinese family, we are not used to saying sorry or loving words to each other. it was really tough for me to make this call home to tell them about my feelings but it all turned out well. dad and mum even said sorry to me for what had happened. it’s the first time we spoken so openly. tough conversation but I’m grateful we did it with all the joyful tears. arrived at Jim’s party with a pair of swollen eyes but it didn’t take long for it to heal as there was so much fun and laughter filling up the house. hanging out with this bunch of ex-colleagues-turns-close-friends makes me feel no regret working in DigiMagic for the past 6 years plus.

it’s Christmas day! went to Vivo with Kitty to buy food back home to celebrate with her family. we bought pork knuckle, German sausages and log cake as requested by uncle Lee. spending Christmas with Kitty and her family and seeing the joy in the family although uncle Lee is suffering from a half body stroke, I told myself that the call back home yesterday was priceless and I couldn’t imagine if I didn’t. Christmas night was spent at Jee Chin’s impromptu party. another night of gathering with more ex-colleagues that missed out on Jim’s party.

overslept on the boxing day due to exhaustion from all the previous nights parties. then we rushed out to meet Vander and Pei Pei for our long-promised karaoke session. did a ‘If We Ever Meet Again’ by Katy Perry and Timbaland with Kitty, nailed a ‘Mr Brightside’ by The Killers with Pei Pei and battled the ‘I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing’ by Aerosmith with Vander. after burning all the calories from singing, Kitty brought me and Pei Pei to this new French Restaurant, Antionette, for a nice dinner. I am very impressed with the concept, renovation, ambiance, service, food and even the toilet. everything is perfect.

this year Christmas has meant a lot for me. from having a shoulder to cry on and the call back home and the celebrations with Terry’s and Kitty’s family as well the quality fun time with friends that I seldom get to see but matters to me. yes, it’s the magic of Christmas that has brought me closer and stronger to my family as well to Terry and Kitty. I am really blessed.

a blissful Sunday…

my eyes slowly opened along with the long exhale of the warm air. trying to search for a living sound but besides my own breathing rhythm, it was drop dead silence. then I realized it's the blissful Sunday.
 
refusing to rise up yet, I cuddled myself in my cottony comforter while stretching my body. turned to my right and the digital clock was blinking 11:46 in its usual glowing green. took another long deep inhale with one final body stretching and had my feet landed on the cold marble floor.
 
freshened up, dabbed some moisturizing essence onto my dry skin and made my bed. mind blank, thinking what now? alrite, decided to make myself my all time favorite breakfast. more like a brunch. nutty cereal with dried apricots and soy milk along with a glass of pomegranate juice. loving every munch of it. 
 
back to my freshly spring-cleaned room with a satisfying feeling. I docked my iPhone and selected 'my beach breeze' playlist. while the tune was playing, I jumped onto my ever comfy bed again. perhaps, the perfect mood to continue 'the gift of rain'.
 
afternoon nap crept in without me realizing it. felt asleep with the pages between my fingers and melody playing in the background. the evening heat started to bother me. again, another glance at the clock and it was already blinking 17:56. 
 
what a nice day in my little room. looked outside and the sky was already pitch dark. time for a heartful dinner, I thought. but all I could desire for was simply a cup of steaming coffee. headed to our regular Plan B to satisfy my craving. ordered a duck confit ciabatta and a double shot latte for her, Moroccan lamb meatballs spaghetti and apple mint for him and a classic Caesar salad for sharing. never felt so satisfying over a dinner for quite a while. pleasant food, nice atmosphere and great friend. what more can I ask.
 
back in my tiny room with lappie lying together with me on my bed. typing away on my blog and wishing if only everyday is a Sunday. then life will be so much simpler and happier. now, here’s to end my blissful Sunday... nite...

too fast and furious

November past fast, so fast yet so many things happened…

handover at work was ok, not smooth. but hey, with that lady bossing around and not helping in any situations, nothing will ever get solved... so I count this as a blessing though. farewell was hard. I was so emotional getting farewell wishes from clients, all my lovely comrades (those in Singapore and especially those here) and the ultimate, mr Donald, my love and hate boss. thanks for everything through this six and half years and as what Donald said, it’s not an end but a new beginning.  

life is always full of shits. ugly things happened back at Maluri house. this time was definitely not the day in day out quarrel. I really couldn’t cope with it that's why I decided a hideaway. I don’t know if all these were arranged by the One up there. it was just a week before this that I bumped back into Danny and when this shit happened, the first person that I thought I could run to is him. well, it’s been 5 years ago and we both definitely have changed. so don’t judge me.

it has only been 4 days that I’m out of work but I’m a bit exhausted already. decided to move back to Maluri house for my take-a-break month. things are still not ok and I hate everything about it but I just gotta be selfish and not care about anything else but to enjoy what I’m blessed with now. for the first 2 days, I was occupied with the long delayed wardrobe spring clean and laundry. then followed by a so called celebration clubbing for me, haven’t been drinking that much of a booze and dance like no tomorrow on my heels long long time… but I enjoyed very much. thanks guys, thanks Danny… for unleashing me :)

definitely December will be another fast one but let’s forget about the furious and enjoy the moment…

it’s finally official!

I thought I will feel great once I resigned but not really. there was this mix feeling inside me. a little bit of relieve and a little bit of feeling bad and sad as if I’m ditching my comrades back at the battlefield.

but as days went by, the ease feeling started to settle in. the stress, pressure and burden at work are getting out of my way... like what Jen said, slowly but surely...

I am now so looking forward to December! after almost 7.5 years of working, I finally get my long deserving break. a break that I have zero to-do-list, zero stress, zero thinking but just purely all about me, myself and I, purely relaxing, pure do-what-I-like-to-do at my own leisure of time.

with the year end and holiday season kicking in during December, it makes my break even more meaningful... it's gonna be a wholesome pleasure!

now, allow me to announce that I’m officially no longer a fairy in the magicland! hooray! celebrate good time, come on...

it’s a great October!

cheers to OC-TO-BER! for the obvious reason being it’s the Octoberfest! burp... having the most Kilkenny within a month in my life and loving the smooth Irish cream ale more and more...

alright, definitely that’s not just all about Octoberfest. I finally found a new job. although it’s not the ideal job that I have on mind but it’s not easy for me to make this decision either. I’m going to take on this new challenge this coming new year and hope things will go as I plan.

what comes next after work? holiday! yes, Jen had just confirmed that she’s on for our Hong Kong trip this coming March. woohoo... I miss holidaying with you, gal...

and a big congrats to the Chi team for pulling it through to top 10. all the weekends’ trainings under the sun and rain finally paid off. and I’m glad that I’m there to enjoy the moment. you guys will definitely do better next year...

happy October!

wave the rainbow flag

Jimmy was in town last Friday and supposed to spend his weekend here until our Monday installation in Petrosains. and so happen it was his birthday last Saturday, so I couldn’t be possibly leaving him alone on his birthday. I’m glad that he enjoyed our company too.

he has always been my favourite producer in the house. he has all the patience and knowledge and the best is he’s fun to hang out with even while during the stressful working hour.

in fact, he’s my one and only gay friend that I’m close to. from sharing daily issues to sexual jokes. I never once feel uncomfortable with him. he’s caring, gentleman, understanding, always willing to listen, protective, down to earth and yet bitchy at certain extend. oh, did i forget to mention that he’s good looking too...

every time hanging out with him left me thinking why does he have to be gay? if only he’s straight and he’s my boyfriend, I’ll be the happiest woman on earth. he just understands woman like no other man does. well, at least I have not found any yet.

but (unfortunately for me) he has found himself a perfect match in his life and I’m happy that he did.

all I can say is love recognize no gender and let’s keep the rainbow flag waving...

the routine

Sunday night @ 1130pm

I have been doing the same practice for the last 3 months on every Sunday night (alright, almost every Sunday night). for the first one and half months, I did it with lots of enthusiasm. hoping to get the results at the soonest. then I slowed down. losing the momentum, losing the anticipation. now, I am still doing it with lots of hesitation and questions going on my mind. but I am forcing myself to not give up. I shall strive for a better tomorrow. and hope the day will come quickly.

you may be asking what is it that I’m doing in routine... oh well, nothing else but job hunting!

please get me another less torturous job. please, pretty please... sigh, already feeling the blue now...

my 2012 travelogue

yeap, the title says it loud and clear. I am again a happy girl when it comes to confirming my next trip :D this time around, it’s gonna be something different... something challenging... and something that I’m looking forward to do for once in a lifetime!

date: 29th March to 3rd April
venue: Hong Kong
participants: me, Jen & Kent

date: 26th June to 1st July
venue: Kota Kinabalu, Sabah (to conquer Mount Kinabalu)
participants: me, Jen, Kent, Hoe, Noelle, CH & Ivee

I’m already getting so excited about the KK trip and hope this excitement can keep me motivated at work (highly doubt it). or even better, to motivate me to quickly get another job soonest.

alright, gotta start living healthy lifestyle for the upcoming challenge so better go get my sleep now... signing off zzzz...

my first, my last, my everything~~~

came back from Hoe’s wedding dinner but am still super sober and didn’t know what to do at this wee hour.

suddenly this particular song by Joshua Radin keeps playing in my head...



it’s always a great feeling to see my close friends getting married. so this one‘s for you, Hoe... Congrats!

I'm sorry...

he came with a good intention to help me to pull up a good piece of presentation. but he left with a dent on his car.

sigh... although it’s not my fault but I feel so sorry. I’m sure you are now full of anger and heartache. just try to keep cool ok... what can I do to make you feel better? tomorrow dinner? a kilkenny? or your favourite pork knuckle?

I hate this kind of non-related guilty feeling... and this whole drama made me work through the night and only now I managed to finish my presentation.

I’m so sorry for his dented car and so sorry for my half hearted presentation… I’m so gonna get screwed tomorrow :(

am I?

stumbled upon this while I was google-ing...


you’ll read his texts over and over... only when I’m too free or feeling down

you walk really slow when you’re with him... I always walk slowly, what’s the rush?!

you pretend to be shy when you’re with him... I am really shy, what do you mean by pretend?

while thinking about him, you heart beats faster... I can’t multitask so when my brain is thinking about him, I forget to count my heart beat

by listening to his voice, you’ll smile for no reason... I can’t help it because most of the time he talks nonsense

while looking at him, you can’t see anyone else... i knew it! he's too fat until he's blocking my view haha... or just simply because I have a very focus mind :P

you start listening to slow songs... hell no, I listen to slow songs way before he appears in my life

he becomes all you think about... I wish I’m that simple minded, seriously...

you get high off of his smell... his smell? I hope it doesn’t come from his armpit... eewww...

you realize you’re always smiling when you think of him... I smile when I think of anything that makes me happy

can never imagine

I never enjoy sports when I was young and I failed badly at it all the time. hated the tiring sweaty feeling. hated the extra miles that I need to push through. I treated PE time as a time break from school lessons and co-curriculum activities as a chore.

but now Monday with cardio and bodypump, Wednesday with cardio and Sh’bam, Saturday with cardio, TRX, Sh’bam and Jukari and a once in a while hardcore cardio on any stressful day.

time flies and it’s a year ago since I signed up with the gym. the one and only reason I signed up is to lose weight as I was gaining ridiculously. never once cross my mind that I could make friends or to enjoy any of the sessions.

looking back at it today, gym has become a part of my life. the sweat keeps me going. the pain motivates me more than anything. and I feel uneasy to skip gym if I have no other plans. although I only managed to lose 5kgs for this one year period with gym, I really enjoy every single time I step into the gym. what more, I made friends along the way. well, I guess to renew the gym membership or not doesn’t need consideration anymore.

a year ago, I could never imagine that I will enjoy gym. today, I can never imagine my life without gym.

=]

there’s a change in life

nothing crucial nor one that I am badly hoping for

coping with it well, at least I think I am

sometimes it’s quite tiring

sometimes it’s the joy of trying

but I’m liking it, hoping to love it even more

just give me enough space and time

and I believe I will do better

have faith in me and you will be in fate

my misfortunate July

it all started the moment I stepped into the land of ‘bisa’, client had forgotten to arrange transportation for my crew and all my equipments hence I had to run around the airport looking for transportation that can fit all my crew and equipments.

came back to homeland on Thursday and found out that mummy dearest was injured with a disjointed ankle and torn ligament. worry to the max that my mind was wandering everywhere, anywhere during my cab ride home and was trying to hold back my tears so badly (didn’t want to scare the poor cab driver)...

was trying to unpack my luggage after reaching home and making sure mummy was tugged into bed, then to realize that my luggage was all wet. seriously no idea why was it all wet internally... my towel, clothes and sandals, all freaking wet. till the moment I unpacked my toiletries, the whole damn new bottle of RM150 toner was empty! there wasn’t any crack on the bottle, no leakage from the spray head... so how the hell did the whole bottle spilt? until today, the mystery remains and I had to fork out another RM150 again :(

couldn’t stand the heat with my thick hair hanging around my neck area, so decided to head to my usual salon to meet up with my long trusted hairstylist. and only to realize that the last time I stepped into this salon was more than 3 months back and he had resigned 2 months ago. damn it! no choice but to entrust another hairstylist and now she has turned me into a fat version of Chibi Maruko Chan... damn you, fucker stylist!

this morning, drove up to Ipoh to pick up my 3rd aunt down to KL to help us to take care of mummy while we all working. dropped by at godparents’ place to visit godmum who has hurt her back recently. when it was time to leave back to KL, my hero of the day (wira) just refused to start. Great... just great... on a Sunday when all mechanics are not working. godbro drove around the area and to find a random mechanic to check and that idiot started to dismantle parts by parts and claiming that my hero engine died-ed. daddy quickly gave his buddy mechanic a call and seek for advices while godbro trying to call help from his friends. finally, a real hero (godbro’s mechanic) came to rescue... fixed the problem and then it leaded to another problem... the stupid aircon is now not working! godbro has to drove my hero of the day to the workshop to get the aircon fix. A supposingly 5 hours day trip to Ipoh ended up as a 12 hours full day trip...

please... I really can’t take any misfortune anymore... Not now, not this month at least... my capacity is max full... I can’t handle anymore, no more, not anymore... shoosh... away you go misfortune... stay away from me... far far away from me...

where have I been?

time sure did just fly by real fast... the last time I wrote was 2 months ago and I wasn’t even aware of it. some of my friends were wondering why am I missing in action for quite a while. well, I was busy travelling and picking up at work after the long break.

Europe was great! not sure what the rest feels, but I was enjoying every bits of it although it was freaking tiring doing it the backpacking style. okok, nothing is 100% perfect... the down side? I overspent hell a lot! but it’s alright, it feels great to spend the hard earn money and eventually one day, I can earn back what I had spent... so who cares... I was thinking if only I can make Europe as an annual affair, I will definitely be the happiest girl on earth :)

bucking up at work after almost a month break with ongoing projects was kind of hard to cope. I wasn’t at the right state of mind yet and with the weeks of jetlag cum insomnia wasn’t really helping at all... what more with the never ending shit from the upper management was a real big time frustration.

besides the usual nuisance of being attached to Singapore for almost 2 weeks, it was indeed a great trip catching up with friends over there. I was glad that I managed to meet up with Thim the pregger, whining and updating each other over a good dinner was great. bitching over endless suppers with Karen and Kitty never once made me regretting for staying up late, perhaps I finally found best friends at work hehe... never to forget is my dear mr Terry, thanks for allowing me to bunk in at your place. everything you did just made my torturous stay less painful. oh and thanks for the super belated birthday pressie... although I was hoping for a double G rather than a quadruple C :P

now, I’m back to homeland for good and hope it will be a great weekend with pints of kilkenny, exciting Stan-Chart run (might end up walking all the way :() and my long postponed spa session... before I head off again to Jakarta for a week....

lullaby

I really have no idea what had went wrong but my body clock is going cuckoo. although with my physically exhausted body after the run, I just couldn’t seem to sleep even the clock was showing it’s almost 3am. worst of all, I got up automatically at 6am. and it just refused to get back to sleep after been rolling on the bed for almost an hour. it had been like this for the past 2 days and I don’t know how much longer I can take it with this fatigued body that has less than 4 hours sleep daily.

I had to listen to lullabies in order to force myself to slumber or else I don’t think I can even get 4 hours sleep at all. just when you thought that lullabies are meant for babies, you are so wrong. of course I don’t mean those nursery lullabies but grown-ups lullabies like Michael Buble and Zee Avi.

I hope tonight gym workout will give me a drop dead snooze or else tonight featured artist will be Regina Spektor.

I seriously need to sleep!!!