comes in pair???

it happened almost 5 years ago, where I had to decide which to take and which to let go. but at that time, it wasn’t that hard to make the decision as something was very obvious for me to judge.

last week, the same thing happened again. but this time, I really don’t know what to do. I kinda can’t let go of any at this very moment.

why does it have to come in pair? I need guidance thru this dilemma. help this poor little gal who's trapped in the crossroad….

did we grow up too fast???

came back from work quite early today coz I was too stressed from work so I thought of putting all the work aside and give myself a break before I start going wacko…

reached home about 8pm and I saw mum having dinner alone coz dad was still stuck in the jam all the way from shah alam. my heart immediately sinks when I felt the loneliness of hers but I kept all the feelings inside. since mum is finishing her dinner soon and I didn’t feel like eating so I waited for her to join me at the living room. did you know that expert says living room is the best place to build the bond within the family? yup, I remember reading it somewhere in a magazine.

so both mum and I hanging out in the living room with the tv set showing some chinese family comedy drama while I was flipping thru today’s newspaper and mum doing the hotel amenities thingy. suddenly, mum striked up a conversation telling me what dad told her the other day when they were both alone at home. guess what dad said? he said it’s so quiet at home nowadays coz Shareen is back to uni hostel, Rachel is still in the NS camp and I was out that day for Chin Mei’s wedding dinner. he misses us being around him. I couldn’t believe this comes from my daddy…. yeah, the man of the home being so sentimental… mum replied dad telling him that this will happen in the near future when we, the daughters, decided to get married or move out to live their own life. my eyes started to get teary when I heard that but I held it back yet again (but now I’m crying like a baby while typing this). you must be thinking that I’m being too emotional but really I can’t help it… I’m sure if Jackie is reading this, he’s definitely shaking his head now and thinking the silly girl is crying again….

it was then about 9.30pm, dad just reached home after all the traffic jam. I was supposed to hang out at bars with my friends but I decided not to and spend my time with dad and mum. helped mum to prepare dinner for dad then we watched news and Oprah’s show together. chat about the current issues and they updated me on Rachel’s latest news since I didn’t make it to visit her last weekend. then dad started taking out all our old times photos from his drawer. all those photos were taken at least a decade ago using analog camera (or is it called manual camera? don’t know what it is called anymore….). some photos of Shareen and Rachel wearing the same clothing, photos of dad, mum and I in HK and Taiwan, photos of CNY family portrait with grandma at Ipoh wooden house…. too much for me to mention here….

now here I am, sitting by my pc and memories come back to my mind like a perfect complete set of storyboard…. I miss you, grandpa and grandmas! no one can replace the love that you showered me…. I hope you are doing very fine in the other world….

I am sure dad and mum must be thinking how they wish we didn’t grow up so fast, that this leaving-them-alone day will never come. I can do nothing more but to just treasure every single moment I can ever have with my family… love you all….

full of tasks....

it’s just the 2nd week of 2008 and I’m already overloaded with lots and lots of task! my task checklist is getting longer and longer by day…. from in charge of getting new furniture for office and relaying out the office’s floor plan to brainstorming for a few upcoming events to even pitching project from new client… oh and not to forget, all the billings and tracking of projects. that is the only thing I hate to do most in my task list, I am glad that I did not take up accounts or admin course when schooling…. it’s the most boring, messy and forever no-ending work. sorry if my words hurt the feelings of all the accounts and admin exec but hey, it’s really not my preference…. besides that, I’m all excited about it!

I am feeling very sleepy right now and so not energetic although it’s a public holiday tomorrow. supposed to meet up with Nicholas for dinner as promised last year... hehe… but I’m really too tired and too lazy so I sms-ed him this morning to cancel it off. sorry Nic… I bet you would have expected this right…

ok, piles of work by my side already and the furniture is here soon so that’s it for now. happy holiday…

where are you my dear friends?

just came back having drinks with the regular two (you know who you are :P) at Mont Kiara’s Starbucks. as usual, sipping our frap and bitching all about our life and what’s around us. and tonight’s topic is all about friends. all sorts of friends, from hi-bye friends to close friends to ‘personal friends’ (yeah, was joking bout Dr. Chua’s case…..haha) and even ‘ditched’ friends.

as we grow older…oppss…or should I say wiser, we will definitely have our own goals and preference of life. we will somehow tend to drift apart from our clique of friends due to all sorts of life factors. I definitely agree and understand that. but don’t you think we should have our personal philosophy of life too? yeah, I don’t read bible and I don’t know what Buddhism or Taoism is all about. so who am I to talk bout philosophy right? nope! philosophy of life is just as simple as how you want to live your life and yes, you heard me right…. YOUR LIFE… not your parents’ nor your companion’s nor your friends’.

sad to admit but yes, my circle of friends is getting smaller and smaller indeed leaving me with the regular two. not that I’m such a loser that I don’t have any friends except that two fellas but I’m talking bout where has all my ‘kaki-s’ gone? those that share my primary life to secondary life to teenage life to young adult life. those that get caught red handed in school together, went to tuition together, went for millennium countdown together, went clubbing and get drunk together, hanged out at mamak stall and talk crap and laugh together.

when they started to get involve in relationships, they all just drifted away and sorry to say but I think they no longer understand what personal life philosophy is all about anymore. all they care about is what their partner like or dislike them to do. that’s when unconsciously they slowly lost in touch their own life philosophy. I did question before those who get so involve in their relationship and ‘ditched’ their so call friends, asking why and how can they become like that? don’t they need their own privacy? and all I got for an answer is I won’t understand cause I’ve never been in a relationship before. heellooo….do I need to tell the whole wide world when I’m in a relationship? how can you assume that I’ve never been in a relationship when you never even asked me before? how shallow….too harsh for your ear…ok, then how naïve….

I personally and has always believe in balance… in whatever I do. too much or too little of something is bad for life. that’s my life philosophy. work is important but I’ll balance it up with travel to relax. I’m serious in what I do but I’ll balance it with ‘let your hair down and parteeeyy’. I do get involve in serious relationship but I balance it with my friends and family. as friends make you realize where your root are when you grow too far away.

so girls and boys, look around you and find where have your friends gone…. you will never know that you may need them some day….

M to the C....

I just woke up not long ago and now I am more then awake. since I have nothing better to do at this hour, I thought of cleaning up my mp3 playlist. then the song ‘hero’ by Mariah Carey keeps on playing in my head. why this song out of all? coz while I was driving back from work earlier just now, I heard this song airing on the radio station. and now I’m digging out all her original CDs and playing it while I’m typing all this crap hehe…

MC has caught my attention since the 1st time I heard her singing ‘emotion’ when I was…don’t really remember when…should be around my primary 4 or 5 time. I really couldn’t believe my ear that this lady can sing from the lowest note to the highest pitch. she really blows me away with that ecstatic talent. since then, she’s been my idol till now... although she is not as good as she used to be anymore. I even remember she was here for a concert once on the 22nd feb 2004. Kent & I was so excited bout it and planned to go for that concert. we even bought the tickets, don’t remember how much but it’s definitely not the cheapest ones. then all of a sudden, our hearts went crushing when they announced the change of concert’s date which clashes with Kent’s exam date. So so sad :( but I can't be going to her concert all by myself as I couldn’t find anyone else that idolize her as much as we both do. what’s the ending? we ended up returning that tickets to the organizer. it was really so near yet so far, really no fate.

anyway, that story happened so long ago…almost bout 4 years ago. time does really fly, just by a wink of an eye. from early twenties, I am now turning to late twenties soon…. arrrrhhhh….. *freaking out* ok, I better go get my beauty sleep now to retain my youthfulness.

long live MC and good night….

happy new year everyone......

first of all to those who are reading my blog now, let me wish you a very happy new year! have you made your new year resolution? I have… errmm… sort of… haha… one of my resolutions is to keep on track with my dairy. if I’m not mistaken, the last time I wrote on my dairy is like one and a half year back… yes, shameful… so since I have no time to really sit in my room and pen down on my nice little recycled paper dairy, I thought of doing the advance way… the ‘it’ way… hahaha… not sure how long this can last me but I’ll try my best to keep things posted.

so how did you start the year of 2008? nothing much for me, we gathered at Kelvino’s place and had some drinks and simple foods. I made a cocktail drink for that night and everybody loves it. I couldn’t believe there’s a hidden talent in me :P anyway guys, it’s just some bacardi lime + soda + sour plum + mint leaves. go ahead try it at home but don’t get addicted, alcohol is bad for health… thanks Kelvino for keeping the secret that night haha… and sponsoring your place for us to avoid all the hassles… it’s been really long since the last time we catch up, my bad… but I did really enjoy myself talking and listening and sharing memories. that’s what friends are for right…

then came the first day of a new year, I was thinking of staying at home to rejuvenate myself for the great year ahead. so I started playing Micheal Buble’s while cleaning up the bookshelf and tidying up all my make-ups & accessories. ok, got it done then I started browsing through my little dear dairy covered with dust haha… a lot of fond and unhappy memories came back alive and that’s when I started to realize it’s really good to keep track with your dairy. as you know, I’m a very emotional kinda person. as I was mesmerizing, Rachel, my youngest sis came to my mind. she just left for NS camp last week and I am already missing her badly. I almost cried when was sending her off but I tried to hold myself back so that I won’t look stupid in the crowds. family to me is always first place in my heart and soul.

ok, gotta get back to work now. again, wishing all have a great year ahead….